As I was putting on my dance shoes in the court yard of Alsina, I couldn’t contain the butterflies in my stomach any more. All four generations of butterflies had gone crazy.

Codigos (tango etiquette): Always change your shoes outside the milonga hall.

Me:”Amy, I’m scared. Can I not dance?”

Amy:”Don’t worry. If you don’t feel like dancing, you don’t have to accept any invitations.”

Me:”How to say I am a beginner?”

Amy:”Don’t tell people that. They’ll find out.”

A graceful host in her silky gold-colored dress led us to the Plaza Bohemia dance hall.

How do I describe my feeling at that time?

Hmm…

I walked with poise, but what I really wanted was to be covered in a table clothe so that no one could see me. But that wasn’t possible since that would just make me even more visible.

The host led us to our table.

Milonga 101: Men and women are seated separately unless you come as a group or as a couple.

I observed the dance floor and my heart sank to the center of the Earth.

I’ve never seen so many expert dancers in one place.

As a beginner (learning tango for just two months), I really should go to milongas that have dancers of all levels. Oh well! Too late!

Beautiful tango posture, well controlled movements, the way the dancers walk, pencil thin heels (I’ve been told these tango shoe heels are strong as steel since you need good balance when you dance tango.), all were clues to the quality of the dancers.

Me:”I just want to hide under the table.”

Amy:”… …”

Sitting uncomfortably and as a nervous wreck, I tried to not look at anyone.

Cabeceo (nod of the head): In Argentina, leaders ask followers to dance with a certain glance, movement or nod of the head toward the dance floor or smile that says, “Dance with me?” This can take place from across the room if the right eyes are caught. If a woman wants to accept a dance with a man, she smiles back and keeps looking at him while he approaches her. To decline, she simply looks away or starts to speak with her friends at the table. Leaders can avoid the embarrassment of having walked up to a follower and being rejected and followers can decline dances without feeling rude.

The nods were so subtle that it was hard for me to tell who was nodding at whom, but right before the end of a cortina (curtain in English – announces a short break, say around 1 minute or so, during which people can have a rest and a drink, and change partners), people started getting up and met at the dance floor. Amazing system. As Argentine Tango was created over 100 years ago, it had plenty of time to develop a set of customs that make good sense.

Milonga 101: At milongas, the music generally is played in sets called “tandas.” It usually includes three to five songs played by the same orchestra. Tanda is followed by a “cortina” which signals the end of a tanda. A cortina is your signal to smile, say ‘thank you’, and leave the floor quickly and gracefully, then prepare for the next cabeceo.

Naturally shy, I barely can make eye contact with any man in real life, not to mention to “choose” a milonguero (men at milonga) and “stare” at him.

I thought to myself, I could just watch and learn. I didn’t have to dance.

A man came to our table.

Amy:”I think he wants to dance with you.”

Me (in horror):”ME?????”

Amy:”Yes.”

The milognuero smiled at me.

Milonga 101: If you (especially a beginner / new comer) reject a man in such an obvious way (since this milonguero came to our table), then expect to stay seated the rest of your night since no one else would want to risk the embarrassment again.

Me (“gracefully” smiled back to the milonguero):”Sure.”

I grabbed my heart back from the center of Earth, had a deep breath while escorted by this milonguero to the dance floor.

He raised his left arm as an invitation to start dancing. I put my right hand in his and he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me gently and firmly towards him. O.M.G. A close embrace, and a very tight one.

Note: In milongas, Argentines only dance in close embrace.

I thought to myself, “Oh. S**T. I’ve only learned open-embrace. I’m in deep trouble.”

In fact, I just learned how to walk tango two months ago.

Where should I put my head during a close embrace? Where should I put my left arm?

Codigos: There is no teaching during milongas as that disturb the flow of the dance and it’s considering very embarrassing if you give / receive a lecture.

The cortina was almost over.

FOCUS!

I had no choice.

… to be continued …