Continued from Nerve Wrecking, Earth Shaking Milonga Experience

FIRST DANCE
A passionate tango song unfolded.

I recollected myself from the nervousness. I slowly raised my left arm and rested it behind my partner’s right shoulder. I leaned my face against his’s and closed my eyes. All these felt natural.

Technique wise, I could only work with what I had. So, I decided I wasn’t going to worry about that.

My teacher’s voice came to me, “Just feel.”

Believe it or not, one of the most important techniques in tango is to “just relax and feel”.

Without feeling, there’s no tango.

Feel the music. Feel the direction and timing from your partner. Feel the connection. Feel the energy. Just, feel.

Tango is the dance that was invented for a universe of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. You must feed each other with energy.

That’s why it takes two to tango. 🙂

I took a deep breath.

The crowd disappeared.

My partner initiated a move; and I agreed to be led and followed.

Since Argentine Tango is an improvisational dance, there are no set patterns. Tango is not like waltz which you can remember a box square pattern and keeps dancing the same pattern while having a chat with your partner.

Tango 101: There’s no talking during tango dance. How can one feel if he talks all the time? After each music piece in a tanda, there are about 30 seconds that you can have a conversation with your partner, or not.

A good leader leads with his body (chest, shoulders, hands) & mind, attitude and intention.

It only takes five seconds to find out the level of a dancer. So, I was sure this milonguero had to quickly improvise and make sure I could follow his lead. Else, we both going to look like fools on the dance floor. And, that would be extremely embarrassing because tango world is a small world. Everybody assesses each other and is well aware of each dancer’s dance level, style, habits and reputation. This is important because everyone would prefer to dance with someone they can relate to.

Luckily this milonguero was a very good leader. I could feel his presence. He was there, guiding me.

Down the line of dance, off we went.

Codigos: Tango dancers move in circle (counter-clockwise) around the room, called the line of dance. It can be one lane or two lanes.

Since my eyes were closed, I certainly didn’t know where I was on the dance floor. And of course it wasn’t my responsibility to worry about such thing.

The leaders have to watch the traffic, feel the music, lead his partner to create a story with him at the same time. It’s definitely a challenging task.

The beauty of tango is it allows both partners to bring their own styles, music interpretation, and unique embellishments (footwork) to the dance which contributes to the excitement of the whole experience.

In a milonga, most dancers have only one chance to prove to other dancers that they are worthy for their attention. If you mess up your first dance of the night, then too bad.

Dancers were seated around the dance floor. So, line of dance allows the dancers to pass by each table and give the opportunity for other seated dancers to appreciate the dance. It’s like a group tango show. 🙂

I did mess up a few steps, but quickly refocused, relaxed and moved on. I tried my best and I thought I wasn’t so bad. Thanks for the experienced leader. He made me look good. 🙂

The music ended.

I opened my eyes and smiled.

I thanked my partner and he escorted me back to my seat.

Patricia: “How was it?”

Me:”He was very good. I am very happy and appreciative.”

Patricia gave me a few tips on my arm placement. I noted.

Now my level has been exposed, I was sure no one was going to ask me again. So, I just sat back and relaxed and even cracked a few jokes with my girlfriends when they were doing their cabeceos.

ALBERT

Another milonguero stopped by our table. He looked at me. I chuckled. Ah! Brave soul.

In my opinion, only the most capable leaders dare to ask a beginner to dance. I was told by an experienced tango dancer that a lot of male dancers thought they are really good, in fact, it’s their followers that make them look good. The real test comes when they dance with a beginner. Then, they have to learn to compromise and guide the beginner. Else, they would be stepping on each other’s foot; tripping all over the dance floor. Not a pretty sight.

This milonguero named Albert was from Turkey and spoke perfect English. Before the tanda has started, he gently moved my left arm around his back and showed me where I should put my face. I smiled. Usually, telling partner where to place her arm and face is a big no-no during milonga, Albert knew by now I was a beginner, so he wanted to offer some guidance.

Another beautiful tango song unfolded. I closed my eyes.

Albert lowered his left knee a little and slowly swayed to the side, I gasped and went with him. With just one step, I recognized that he was an EXTRAORDINARY dancer. It’s really difficult to explain that feeling. He guided and nurtured me with his energy.

At one point, I fell into a trance where the world didn’t exist. Just me and my partner (a source of energy) going through a journey.

Sometimes the music had harder and stronger pulse, sometimes the music was slow and had a sweet melanchony feel to it. Suddenly, my partner suspended me and led me to a world without time. I waited with him. There’s no rush in tango. Music will bring the dance to us. Then, we gently swayed … It was an exquisite conversation between sexes.

You don’t have to know the person or even want to know them on a personal level. You learn about yourself through the partnership. You have to be comfortable with who you are. This is the tango experience.

It was a different journey than the first dance. It was a different story that we were creating.

In the last three minutes, all sort of emotions went through my Being. We’ve been to places and different times. We went on a journey and came back. We shared without talking. No two dances can be the same. The expression will never be exactly repeated. That moment was how we felt, and will never be precisely the same, ever again.

A lot of people look for such repeated transcendental experience in tango. That’s why tango is such a powerful and addictive drug. Intoxicating.

Later on, Amy (who is an accomplished dancer and teacher in tango) commented that Albert was the best dancer of the night. See! I have good taste in tango. 🙂

SCARRED
Now, about my 3rd dance of the night. I was sitting at my table and I turned around. A glance from a milonguero at the next table caught my eyes.

“Dance?” He signaled.

I nodded.

I just had two very good experiences, so my worries were gone and my heart was completely open.

The music started.

Something was wrong. This miloguero wasn’t able to feed me with his energy. I couldn’t feel it. I heard him say,”No” a few times during the dance. I knew I wasn’t doing what he wanted. It wasn’t bad, but we did struggle a little.

First song ended.

“Gracias (thank you).” He said. That ended our dance, even though the tanda wasn’t over.

While all other dancers were still on the dance floor, he escorted me back to my table.

My heart was hurt and sat down with my confidence shattered into pieces.

Patricia: “So quick?”

Thanks for noticing. Patricia.

Was I so bad? I wondered. 🙁

Later on, Albert came back to ask for another dance. I told him about the incident and how sad I felt.

Albert:”Don’t worry. Beginners get that a lot. Now, just relax. You’ll be okay.”

We danced and his excellent lead cheered me up. It was a wonderful piece of music that soothed my wound.

VIVIEN

Vivien (who was one of best dancers of the night), a spunky Singaporean who comes to Buenos Aires to practice tango every year told me that an experienced milonguero doesn’t ask a beginner at the beginning of a tanda. He’ll ask for a dance towards the end of a tanda, so that if the dance doesn’t work out, the partnership will end naturally with the tanda. So, that milonguero was being a jerk and I should remember his face and never dance with him again.

Vivien asked for my background and I told her about my experience with tango.

Vivien:”2 months???? Then you are a genius.”

Vivien:”We all were not able to tell you have only been dancing for two months. The piece that Albert did with you was a classic piece. I was surprised he did that with you.”

See? People talk and assess each other’s dance level.

It didn’t matter if Vivien was exaggerating. I appreciated her compliments because they healed my scar. Phew.

Vivien and I spoke in Mandarin and she really made me miss my country!

My first milonga was a nerve wrecking experience but I’m glad I had the balls to try.

Buenos Aires, the city of tango, now I know why people are coming back year after year. The tango culture is deeply woven into everyone’s heart and soul here.

Tango, you and me are going to be inseparable.

Note: I wrote this post from the perspective of a tango beginner. If there’s anything that you wish to add or discuss, please feel free to leave me a comment. Gracias.